My (our) Why Story
Our battle with infertility started two years ago when we found out that we would not be able to conceive naturally. This was devastating news to us. The diagnosis came after a year of trying unsuccessfully, quite a few doctors’ appointments, blood draws, and some not-so-fun tests. We took the typical route that most couples in this situation take. We tried Clomid and then IUI with no success. Next up was Invitro Fertilization. IVF, I must admit, was one of the hardest things that I/we have endured. It started with a painful surgery for me, and continued with lots of time away from work because of the appointments, ultrasounds, lab work, and the two procedures – Egg Retrieval and Embryo Transfer. I discovered that bed rest is not as fun as it sounds. It was only prescribed for the days of the procedures, but it was not near as much fun as I imagined. I do not make a great patient, and I am sure my husband will agree.
The (very) low point of the process came one Saturday night when I was home alone. I had to give myself one painful and surprisingly thick shot in the stomach. This particular one my husband usually assisted with, but on this night, I had to do it on my own. It took me ten minutes, tons of profanity, and a sympathetic cuddle from our friends’ sweet and concerned boxer to gain the courage to inject it. I just couldn’t stop looking at the needle – an 18 gauge. Once injected, it was as painful as I envisioned. I would later find out that I should have changed out the needle for a 22 gauge prior to injecting.
As you might have guessed by now, IVF was unsuccessful. During the whole ordeal, my husband and I discussed at length what to do if it did/didn’t work. I’m a planner, and to keep my world from spinning, I must always have a plan – no matter what. So, we devised two plans and called them “Plan A” and “Plan B.” For us, it was important that, no matter what happened, we would make the most of the cards being dealt. Make lemonade from lemons, as they say.
This brings us to today and our active pursuit of Plan B, which is to travel the world and to see all the things. We both have two destination lists – America and Abroad. We first want travel to every place on each of our lists, and after that we will make another list and then another, and so on.
We have been asked why we won’t keep trying IVF. After a lot of discussion, we came to the conclusion that this process just isn’t for us. These feelings were present throughout, more so me at times but for both of us nonetheless. I thought I was prepared for the toll it takes on your emotions and your body, but I wasn’t (for example, being told that I should skip my long runs did not sit well). After going through all of that, we hear that the embryos did not take and had never taken – I was not and had not been pregnant at any point after the transfer procedure. We decided to see it as a sign that we should move. It just didn’t feel right. So, all that to say, we are fully embracing where this circumstance has led us and the opportunities that will come from this new, slightly unexpected adventure.
For any and all currently going through this, I wish you strength, patience, determination, and peace for your journey.
-xoxo CD